Shavian

As part of his campaign for alphabet reform, Shaw concocted the following wonderful sentence:

Chang at leisure was superior to Lynch in his rouge, munching a lozenge at the burial of Merrion Square of Hyperion the Alien who valued his billiards so highly.

But, of course, this strikes me as a splendid opportunity.  I undertake to write a short story, taking this as its first line.  Mouth-watering prospect.