On-pun

Thank heavens I archive these, here! Think of the loss to humankind if I didn't.

I really believe Duct-tape is better than Sellotape. I tried to make my case on the BBC but they said they didn't allow pro-Duct placement.

As Beckett said when the aluminium foil he was using to wrap his chicken broke: foil again. Foil better.

Religion. Or as I like to call it, ‘The Origin of Specious’.

‘Knock. [25 second pause] Knock.’ ‘Who's there?’ ’Harold.’ ‘Harold Who!’ [Very lengthy pause] ‘Pinter.’

Timothy Leary: LSD guru, quest-master and the topic of the famous song ‘I Can Seek Leary Now’.

After a great deal of thought I've come to the conclusion that the least savoury children's book is: Flatus Stanley.

The strangest surname I ever heard is probably the guy in the Hendrix song: A. Joe Whereyougoinwiththatguninyourhand.

Are we human, or just the housepets of our gas-guzzling cars? Each of us needs to ask: am I a man? or am I Hummer pet?

By my Latin reckoning, 'Rick Santorum' means 'Rick of the Santas (plural)'. There are many Father Christmas clones, and they own him.

Judging by his middle name, that old painter Leonardo ‘Dave’ Inci wasn't as highfalutin as some people imply.

Judging by his middle name, that old painter Leonardo ‘Dave’ Inci wasn't as highfalutin as some people imply.

Who is this lout loitering in the Greek bay, and why don't they get rid of him?

Ooh, topical!